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The concern involves the question of are we enabling him, or supporting him? It can be a fine line, (and one I am not looking to discuss here.) - inparadise

I don't see it as a fine line. When the recipient through no fault of their own is struggling but really trying to fulfill their potential, then whatever support you provide is just being a loving caring nurturing parent. Enabling, in my mind anyway, involves facilitating a negative situation brought on through fault of their own.

In the case of my son, he is very intelligent, but not highly motivated as far as working is concerned. When he was in high school, he had the usual string of unskilled jobs and was far from a reliable, eager employee. He went through a lot of different jobs with long spans of not working at all. Basically he was a low performing marginal employee.

After he got his BS degree, he worked for year and then decided he wanted to go to law school. Five years later he graduates and passes the bar and starts a good career with a law firm in Florida. I was proud of my son the lawyer and his career was going well. He did have to work long hours but was well paid for it. He complained that he just did not have enough free time to do the things he really enjoyed which primarily was going to live music concerts, lots of them, I am talking hundreds going back to include his HS days. After about three years, he just up and quit his attorney job, and started living in an RV and just traveled around the country camping and going to rock concerts and music festivals.

I worked steadily for 45 years and always had to balance my career with fitting my vacations in as best I could around the priorities of the job. And my daughter and her husband are both working very hard and being responsible adults raising two kids and have a lot to show for it.

My son on the other hand just wants to coast through life, with little or no responsibility, still acting like a perpetual college student but without any classes to interfere with partying. He could and did hold down a good job and simply decided not to work. It is that lack of a work ethic that I don't feel good about enabling.

Anyway, providing support is being a responsible parent, enabling a lazy persons desire to bum around is something quite different.
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