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The FA has been OK, returning better than the benchmark net of fees, but how do I even know we are using the right benchmark? Why not 70/30? Trust but verify, right?

If you are invested 60/40 then the appropriate benchmark to measure performance would be indexes that are 60/40. You could use something broad like 60% S&P or it could be more specific like 30% S&P, 15% Russell 2000 and 15% MSCI.

If you have international stock in your port, it should include the international benchmark.

Asd to your larger question of whether or not 60/40 is more appropriate than 70/30, there are numerous asset allocation tools online where you can answer a few risk tolerance questions to give you an idea. Regardless, I don't think a difference of 10% one way or the other is likely a make or break situation.

If you are not happy with the services for which you are paying, then it is likely time to talk about such with the FA - and leave if that is not satisfactory.
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