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The Gimme My Stars FAQ v. 1.3

Disclaimer: The reason behind the typical FAQ is for "newbies" to avoid wasting the time of others by asking stupid questions. We at the Gimme My Stars message board encourage stupid questions, that way you get to submit a message and we get to reply, therefore increasing our "total messages." Feel free to use this list as a guideline for potential future posts.

Q. What is an FAQ?
A. It is a TLA for Frequently Asked Questions.

Q. What is a TLA?
A. A Three Letter Acronym.

Q. What is an acronym?
A. Webster's defines it as "A word formed from the initial letter or letters of each of the successive parts or major parts of a compound term."

Q. I thought you were supposed to be able to pronounce an acronym like snafu or radar?
A. It's pronounced tlay as in play.

Q. What is GMS (Alternate abbreviation GM*)?
A. A TLA for Gimme My Stars.

Q. This is lame, is this FAQ better than v. 1.2?
A. Let's hope so, I have a reputation to uphold.

Q. What is the purpose of this message board?
A. To increase our number of total messages.

Q. Why is that important?
A. So we obtain stars next to our name.

Q. Why are they significant?
A. The higher your star level, the less you look like a newbie at the Motley Fool.

Q. What do the stars next to your name mean?
A. For each message you post the Motley Fool keeps track of the number, when you reach a certain number of posts you receive a "Token of Foolish Achievement." Each star represents, at least, how many messages you have posted...

Q. What is the number of messages needed to reach each individual star?
A. 50 messages = 1 little star
250 messages = 2 little stars
500 messages = 3 little stars
1000 messages = 1 big red star
5000 messages = 1 big gold star

Q. Does that create a caste system between different levels of stardom?
A. Yes, here is a breakdown by Joelsenior of the appropriate actions of each tier...

Q. Your message board seems to be a little loose with the recommendation button, what's up with that?
A. A recommendation on your message means we have read your post, it was content free, and we approve of its drivel.

Q. Doesn't that give less meaning to the recommendation feature?
A. I'm glad you brought that up, here is a moving thesis on that very subject by the lamb lover, Markandsusanv...

Q. Who started this message board?
A. A man loved by many, our founding father, the wonderful IFindKarma...

Q. That's an odd screen name, how did he come up with that?
A. It's an anagram for his name, Adam Rifkin.

Q. Why doesn't he post here anymore?
A. He found a big Gold Star so he no longer has a need to visit.

Q. Are there others who have attained Gold Star status at GMS?
A. Yes, swimdad, MizBlue, lockhartl, Joelsenior, AridianDreamer and WorldRecordGuy.

Q. They have their Gold Star and they still post here? Isn't their mission complete, why haven't they left the board?
A. It's like an internet black hole, once you're sucked in, there's no escape. Run for your lives! You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.

Q. What is TSOLT?
A. It stands for "Two Shakes of a Lambs Tail."

Q. What does that have to do with anything?
A. When you post two consecutive messages very quickly, you receive this message from the Fool...

That Was Fast!

It appears that you have posted at least two consecutive messages to our message boards VERY quickly. If you're posting this fast it generally means
that you are one of two things:

A. Really fast.

B. A spammer who's trying to post multiple messages to our boards.

Sorry, we just don't allow this. If you're just really fast, we apologize for the inconvenience, but we're trying to keep multi-posts and advertising spam to a minimum on our boards. We hope you understand.

You can go back to the post page using your browser's back button, wait two shakes of a lamb's tail, and then submit your message.

Q. How long does it take the lamb to shake his tail twice?
A. Between 1 and 2 minutes depending on its level of Ritalin.

Q. What is the hamster?
A. He runs the inner workings of the Fool, if the site screws up, they blame the hamster.

Q. What is a Doppelganger or Doppel?
A. Here is a very excellent explanation from InkJetLabel...

Q. Why do they frequent Gimme My Stars?
A. It is an effort to get their message totals up so they have some credibility at the other message boards and so they don't appear to be new Fools.

Q. Why do some people seem to have a problem with GMS?
A. They just don't understand, it's very sad.

Q. Are there certain boards at the Motley Fool that are favorites of the other posters at GMS?
A. Yes, here is a list compiled by Czeslaw2 and InkJetLabel...

Q. What are milestone posts?
A. They are posts with significant numbers associated with them. Here is the list compiled by WorldRecordGuy...

Q. Isn't he the world famous cartoonist everyone is talking about?
A. The one and only, here is the address of his Web site...

Q. And what is a palindrome post?
A. It is a post number that is the same when read backwards and forwards like 10101.

Q. I noticed these certain posts with the cryptic letters OCD then a word following those letters. What does that mean?
A. OCD stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. If you hit the "submit reply" button and notice a spelling error or typo while the hamster is
churning out your post, OCD causes you to do a follow up message correcting the mistake. This behavior is only acceptable at the Gimme My Stars board.

Q. What are the rules of this message board?
A. Other than being civil to the other inhabitants, we have none.

Q. Does anyone read all of these messages?
A. The Motley Fool censors and a young lady named CaveGirl.

Q. How does she find time to read all these messages?
A. She works for the government, our tax dollars are hard at work.

Q. What is the longest thread ever at Gimme My Stars?
A. The "Hello?" thread started by dlkeiley...

Q. Could you explain the history behind this thread?
A. Yes, here is a brief explanation...

Q. Is there a reason it is still going on?
A. We are competing against the British Invasion board for longest thread superiority.

Q. Will it ever end?
A. Most recently the British Invasion board has declared a truce...

Q. So GMS wins the contest?
A. Yes, unless it was a feeble ploy to dupe us into actually creating new threads.

Q. What's the deal with Joel?
A. Joel St. John? He's a devoted family man, a loving husband and a wonderful human being.

Q. Then why did he just tell me to eff off?
A. You have Joel confused with the posting avatar, Joelsenior.

Q. Aren't they the same?
A. Similar yes, the same no. Here's the "411" from 'ol Tubby himself...

Q. Why do you put up with his arrogance and lack of respect?
A. In life you need balance, left and right, north and south, yin and yang. In the microcosm known as Gimme My Stars, Joelsenior is one giant yang.

Q. What is FA and PP
A. Fool Alert and Problem Post.

Q. Could you use them in a sentence?
A. Yes, if you post a message with content, we're going to FA your PP.

Q. How long does it take to post 100 messages?
A. AlanW7 or Alan7w, we can never remember his name, completed that task in 2 1/2 hours.

Q. Are we allowed to use bad words?
A. All have been tried, but only a few have stayed to be read by others.

Q. How do I get around the censors?
A. Spelling the word in question backwards usually works, as well as using asterisks in place of the vowels.

Q. What happens if we have a potty mouth on the board?
A. You are thrown into TMF Jail; further information is available by asking Czeslaw2.

Q. What are some good topics to post about?
A. Anything is acceptable other than light bulb jokes.

Q. Why is that?
A. They were banned in the "Common Decency Act of January 2000."

Q. Has anyone ever had the nerve to go against that decree?
A. Yes, in a bold attempt to gain recommendations, KelvinCelcius opposed authority and posted a light bulb joke...

Q. What was his penalty?
A. He was banned from GMS and forced to post messages on the "Living Below Your Means" board.

Q. What is the official motto of Gimme My Stars?
A. "Sic itur ad astra."

Q. What does that mean?
A. Thus one goes to the stars; such is the way to immortality.

Q. Do you have a mission statement?
A. Yes, Redsavina coined the phrase, "You are only as cool as your last 10 posts."

Q. What about a slogan?
A. "You're never alone at GMS."

Q. Why do you continue...

Q. your messages to the next post?
A. To increase our total messages.

Q. Is this acceptable at other message boards?
A. Only if you plan on never posting to that message board again.

Q. Why does Gimme My Stars appear to be obsessed with being in 1st place?
A. Because we are better then everyone else, and we like to prove it.

Q. What is the Gimme My Stars oath?
A. Here is the oath written by WorldRecordGuy...

Q. What is the most significant poll ever taken at Gimme My Stars?
A. This one ...

Q. Who holds the record for achieving Gold Stardom in the shortest time span?
A. MizBlue, it took her all of 2 months.

Q. 5000 posts in two months?
A. I know, a little slow isn't it? She took some time off to make a banana cream pie.

Q. What about the Red Star record?
A. That achievement is held by SmashingPiggy, he accomplished the feat in 8 days, 8 hours and 4 minutes.

Q. Does this board have a web site?
A. Absolutely, only the best ones do. Here is the address ...

Q. What is the most useful technique to learn for posting messages?
A. That's an easy one: "Copy and Paste"

Q. Didn't I learn that in kindergarten?
A. No, not that , this...

Q. How do I change the text to bold or italic?
A. This explains everything ...

Q. What is NADA?
A. Excellent question, follow this link and post your question there.

Q. I did what you said, but they ignored me. Why?
A. They must have been too busy discussing guns, politics, or religion to waste their time with a newbie question like yours.

Q. So I'll ask again, "What is NADA?"
A. Before the Motley Fool had non-stock message boards, they needed a ticker symbol for people to find the board to discuss non-stock issues. They chose NADA as the ticker symbol for "The Land of Off-Topic Posts."

Q. What is a surefire way to get recommendations?
A. At the bottom of your message type: "Don't rec this post."

I hope this was helpful, once again feel free to use this list as a guide for possible future questions.

We end this FAQ with a statement from our patriarch, the wise and informative, swimdad the elder... question shows that I have not read all of his posts. That is, in fact the case.
....while reading all posts here is informative, that can take time away from posting, which is the main purpose of the board. Therefore, there shall be no adverse repercussions against those who do not read posts. Thanks.

swimdad :)

This FAQ was authored by PalmerB and edited by Czeslaw2. Any rebroadcasts of this FAQ can not be made without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball.

A special thanks for extra credit work done by Joelsenior, InkJetLabel, and Czeslaw2.
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