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The one thing, however, about the couples counseling is that he refuses to go. I go to a therapist, and I can see what he envisions: Two woman picking on him. And attacking him. I attack, alot. I nag, alot. I guess he is just "numb to the bitching". And those are exact words.

In order for couples counseling to work, you need to see someone new to both of you. It's fine for you to take him to one of your sessions (assuming he was willing) but that is not the same as couple's counseling. Your current counselor is already partial to you, regardless of professional distance. They might be able to give you a referral, but that's the extent they should take it.

If it seems worth the effort, suggest it in that manner. Or give him some power and let him call around and pick the therapist.

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