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Hi Fools,

(It doesn't sound right to say "Hi infertile Fools.")

I posted my sad news on LBYM today and the parents board. In a nutshell, the baby we'd expected to adopt has been "diverted" by the mother. Her sister - who blessedly already has 6 children -- will raise the child. Rather than rehash my original post here, I provide its link.

That's not why I am writing now, tho'. I thought sharing my grief with others would help me feel better -- and to a degree it does -- but I found in reading the very kind replies to it, I seemed to hurt just a little bit more.

I find myself repeating over and over in my head a number of defensive rationalizations:

That it is OKAY to be infertile.

That I have many fine physical and personal qualities that more than compensate for this "inadequacy."

That I can redirect my child-loving energies towards activities that benefit many needy children.

That I will not be alone in my old age because I have so many loving nephews and nieces.

That never being called "Mommy" is something I can just get over.

That I can save all the money I would've spent raising a child and do something incredibly magnanimous with it, saving the world and all that.

That my desire to have a child might simply be conceit - looking for some small-faced miracle to think her mommy is the best singer, incredibly silly, great nurse, super courageous, most wonderfulest hugger in the world.

I know it is not the end of the world. It's just that this latest "rejection" serves as a REMINDER that I cannot have my own baby -- formed from the very best that I and my much-loved mate could offer -- and it pries back open a wound that had seemed to be finally healing.

I thought you good folks could understand this sentiment perhaps better than anyone...
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