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Then he tells me about this place. It's on Rosedale Avenue, he says. OK.. I used to live in West Chester PA back when Hub #1 was still the hub-to-be so I know of this place . FM goes on about how nice it is and how it's 835 a month and you pay for hot H20 and the washers and dryers are right in there. And.. the heat is natural gas. He knew an awful lot. Then he expounds and says...
"You wouldn't be able to get in there because you don't have a real job and you wouldn't pass the credit check. Then he goes on into how involved the paperwork is for this place . I think.."What is this man looking at apartments for when he owns a home?" Then the second thought.."If he was 20 minutes or so away, why didn't he come over to see me?"

I ask him if he was over there to see and he gets defensive! He says.."I was looking to help out a friend! Uh oh!


Greetings, Wild, you are soliciting opinions. Here's mine:

Now that things are again in a down cycle, what more will it take for you to recognize that this man is demeaning, destructive, belitting, hostile, hateful and an opportunist who is WASTING YOUR TIME.

Oh, I know, how indeed I know that in an up cycle you would forget all about yourself for a little slice of his heaven, just a whiff of his scent and that you would wait for hours for a phone call that may or may not come.

Girl, WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE? Why isn't it you?

We've all heard one too many times about how wonderful he is when he's wonderful and how terrible he is when he's terrible. Do you want to be addicted to heroin or don't you? That's what we're talking about and have been talking about regarding this user for months and months.

Where is your self-respect? I think it would make damn good sense to PRINT OUT what you wrote. If anyone else dared speak to you this way, wouldn't they see the back of your hand - or at least have their neck cut off by your sharp tongue? Why are you putting up with such blatant disrespect? Why do you forget all about this disrespect when king FM deigns to pay his pitiful lowly subject a service call?

YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!!! I do not know how to take a clue-by-4 and hit you any harder with it. You may be affronted now but the remorse will come soon because that's the pattern of addiction. And you are ADDICTED to this guy, no matter how rudely he treats you. Why he thinks he can spit on you is because you've allowed him to in order to keep getting those whiffs.

Here's the other part of the clue-by-4: there are any number of people (and I won't even say men because I want to leave sex out of it) who are not only every bit as intelligent as "F"M but who would be able to treat you with respect and reliability. Why are you not choosing to seek this out? What has caused you to settle for so pitifully little from this pr*ck? (There's some R-rating for you!)

Again, I say, having been there, you will fume and feel offended and affronted and hard-edged and then when time passes and YET AGAIN you do not hear from him for a month you will start to weaken and cave and be sad and rueful and even start to be forgiving. DO NOT DO THIS. Print this out on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, on the washer and dryer, on your pillow. DO NOT LET YOURSELF FORGET HOW ABUSED YOU HAVE BEEN. Not that you have to be living in the midst of fury for months and months, but where is your forward momentum? You've used up enough precious life energy on this dude. When will you redirect some of this your own way? He does not deserve you. And you deserve better than to continue to treat YOURSELF so disrespectfully. That one hour with him between the sheets: heroin would be cleaner. At least it doesn't lie to you to your face nor tell you things about your life that are phrased so cruelly and disparagingly. Nonetheless, heroin hurts you, alright. And so does FM, even as he has been between your sheets. You've been willing to give up too much about your life to him when he has made it abundantly clear that he does not want you except on his strict terms. Again, I ask, Wild, WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE to give this the heave-ho and take back your life for yourself?

Do what you need to do and maybe even want to do with your life going forward without concern for WWFMD (what would FM do). He's participated in enough wreckage as it is. Where do you want to go from here?

xraymd

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