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No. of Recommendations: 5
There are posts on the CC board about someone who was going through these exact same issues.

I assume you mean me, JBeauty. It is a very long thread, where almost every poster told me to leave, which in my case was the right choice. My favorite of all the posts was Smurfette's

http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=21906998&sort=threaded

which I printed and carried with me for strength. I also repeated the mantra "You Can't Change Him" a few hundred times.

Every situation is unique. It is easy to over-simplify. I would not presume to say that what was right for me would be right for CID. In fact, I would support trying everything possible to save a relationship where two people love each other. But in the end, some times the answer is that a problem can't be solved.

If CID is still at the point where she is looking for ways to save her relationship, I recommend
- stepping back from confrontational arguments and trying to restore some of the affection. From that point, ASK and LISTEN first, to learn your partners money attitudes and goals. Then share yours.
- try to agree on a common set of goals you both want for the future
- couples counseling
- Getting Out Of Debt's chapter on couples. Especially the exercise where you sit facing each other looking eye-to-eye and one person says things about money and the other person just says "Thank you" and doesn't comment for at least 24 hours.
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