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I just wanted to report that with only A FEW HOURS left in the Feste vote, it's coming down to the wire, and @@@@@@@@@@ is barely ahead by 1.7% in the exit polls, conducted by the well known firm of Goofus Delecti and Marsh.

Running a close second, and even leading slightly among "Social Club" denizens is ##########, with %%%%%%%% just behind. Interestingly, %%%%%%%% seems to be doing well among early morning voters, but is showing poorly with late-nighters, making a come-from behind victory unlikely with only late afternoon and night voters still to be heard from.

These last few hours could really nail it, and of course, these numbers should be considered CONFIDENTIAL (please do not release to people who have not paid you for them) and unofficial, although our exit polls have never been wrong before.

The only way things could change from here on out is if there is a very strong last minute "get out the vote" campaign by one particular candidate, or, of course, if the computers are rigged and the Motley Fool progr@#$%@$% ^$%@%^$%# %@$#% ASDSF@# #$@$%@#$%@#$$%^ tried to interefere.
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Still time for the Vig, Goofy :)
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Well? Well? Well??
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Well? Well? Well??

Patience, Grasshopper. The results must be tabulated, Jimmy Carter flown in to certify, an exhaustive interview conducted, embarrassing picture solicited, and a lovely display page created. Such splendid works of art take time.

Richard
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Well? Well? Well??

Don't hold your breath. We won't know who won until April Fool's Day.

(something to do with the hanging chads)

cat
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OK, When do we see the results?

Peg
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OK, When do we see the results?

Peg



Ah, results.

In the words of D.O.D. (Dear Old Dad), "Effort is commendable, results count."

On the other hand, my body produces polyps that have a tendency to generate malignant tumors - Awaiting biopsy results of removed polyps always gives me reason to ponder, "Do I really want to learn the 'results.'"

I can't know.


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I dunno!, I'm kinda enjoying the entertainment here during the wait :o)

Maybe that will increase once the results are known?

GO Bill Ford!

KEZ
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I dunno! I'm kinda enjoying the entertainment here during the wait :o)

Maybe that will increase once the results are known?

GO Bill Ford!

KEZ


Dear heart. Just for you and for the entertainment value a very special Interview That Never Was

The Interview that Never Happened, Special Version for Aussie Kez.

Marcel Marceau interviewed by MichaelRead.

MichaelR: “Mime has been a part of theater for centuries and you studied under many famed mimes and have superseded your teachers. What aspect made you that so different than those who preceded you?”

MarcelM: “………………………………………………………………………………………………………….”

MichaelR: “Agreed, media does change presentation. Nonetheless, the performer remains, does he not?”

MarcelM: “…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..”

MichaelR: “I find that somewhat offensive. The performer may have a standard of presentation yet if the viewer doesn't 'get' what the performer is presenting then it is not the viewer that needs to be regaled. I think you're wrong here.”

MarcelM: “………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….”

MichaelR: “Oh, sure, Man in an Invisible Box again. That's so old hat. So's the Man Climbing Stairs or Man Fighting Against Wind. Got anything new?

MarcelM: “……………………………………………………………………………………………………………"

MichaelR: “Man Wanting a Croissant but Gets Freedom Fries Instead?”

MarcelM: “…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….”

MichaelR: “Sorry. Okay its Man in Pants Two Sizes Too Large.”

MarcelM: “………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………”

MichaelR: “As is the custom in The Interview that Never Happened, you have the last word.”

MarcelM: “…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….”

MichaelR: “Thank you, sir.”

MichaelR


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Dear heart. Just for you and for the entertainment value a very special Interview That Never Was

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MR

that MarcelM bloke has bad manners.

Did ya feel like 'bitch slappin' him when he said, "............................................................."

I would bet he couldn't keep his hands still during the whole Interview neither!

People like that rarely do.

;0)

KEZ

p/s You're a funny Guy MR. Now don't let it go to your head! :o)

Huh!!....What Feste award? :oÞ
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You're a funny Guy MR. Now don't let it go to your head! :o)

Huh!!....What Feste award? :oÞ

Kez


Tell you a story, Kez. Back in the 1970s I was in Moscow several times. A real dreary city and my conclusion was that communism not only destroyed good cooking but also humor. The hotel I stayed at didn't have a restaurant so I'd go to a place that I could eat and have a drink.

Now understand my Russian is 'holding a phrasebook' Russian listing handy sentences designed to get you to the train station when what you want is a glass of beer. In other words, useless.

I was at this table and a guy sat down with his plate. I nodded, he said something, I said, in Russian, “I don't speak Russian,” and a third person at the table said, in English, “I speak English.”

To make a long story short, after a few beers the Russian speaker told a joke, the translator said it in English and I told a joke the translator told the Russian speaker. Many jokes don't translate yet some do. The Russian speaker knew a lot and I did so we traded jokes but here's the funny thing. The Russian speaker and I laughed at the jokes but the translator didn't get one of them. Utterly blank.

So, here's a joke I learned in Moscow circa 1978.

A Moscow resident wanted to sell his car, a Volga, but it was a 1960 vehicle and he knew that he wouldn't get that much for it. A friend said, “Look, there's no difference between your car and a new one. All you have to do is file off the manufacturing date and stamp on this year's.”

A week later the friend asked, “Have you sold your car?” The car owner said, “Who in their right mind would sell a current year Volga?”

The Russian speaker told that joke and the translator spoke in English and nodded at the punch line as to agree, who would?

The Feste Award is for the person who contributed the most to the community of TMF. I want equal time and propose a separate award just for Jesters. We need to fractionalize The Feste into categories. I ain't gonna win otherwise.

MichaelR


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...Back in the 1970s I was in Moscow several times. A real dreary city and my conclusion was that communism not only destroyed good cooking but also humor. The hotel I stayed at didn't have a restaurant so I'd go to a place that I could eat and have a drink.

Now understand my Russian is 'holding a phrasebook' Russian listing handy sentences designed to get you to the train station when what you want is a glass of beer. In other words, useless.

I was at this table and a guy sat down with his plate. I nodded, he said something, I said, in Russian, “I don't speak Russian,” and a third person at the table said, in English, “I speak English.”

To make a long story short, after a few beers...


Uh oh, a coupla beers and he wants to shorten the story already. Y'all sit back and relax now, this is gonna take him a few more minutes to finish this.

To make a long story short, after a few beers the Russian speaker told a joke,...So, here's a joke I learned in Moscow circa 1978.

A Moscow resident wanted to sell his car, a Volga, but it was a 1960 vehicle and he knew that he wouldn't get that much for it. A friend said, “Look, there's no difference between your car and a new one. All you have to do is file off the manufacturing date and stamp on this year's.”

A week later the friend asked, “Have you sold your car?” The car owner said, “Who in their right mind would sell a current year Volga?”


Ummm...had you told me that then, I woulda been worried 'bout havin' just bought that car, but since it's still runnin' today, I guess I ain't worried none to much 'bout that now.

The Feste Award is for the person who contributed the most to the community of TMF. I want equal time and propose a separate award just for Jesters.

That sounds cool. I wanna play.

We need to fractionalize The Feste into categories.

I actually did that once...I was running down some stairs in a castle off the St. Pete coast and fractured a bone in my foot into categories. First week of school too.

I ain't gonna win otherwise.

Ummm...what's otherwise and why do you wanna win it so bad? And if you're really strugglin' to win it, and really wanna win it even, try running down some castle stairs off the coast of St. Pete, FL.*

ßillƒ

*Helpin' People Win Fractionalizeationstuff Since 1903
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The Feste Award is for the person who contributed the most to the community of TMF. I want equal time and propose a separate award just for Jesters.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought a Feste award was for the person who could eat the most? :0Þ


Who Won?

Oh! and MR, maybe the interpreter was slow in understanding jokes & broke out into fits of laughter the next day at a business meeting.

KEZ
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I thought a Feste award was for the person who could eat the most? :0Þ

Oh no! Please say that's not true.

Abe
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....................................................................

;0)

KEZ


I'd rec that, KEZ, but it might draw attention and get pulled for profanity, as happened to one of my posts recently on HURL in response to one of aj's caption challenges with a pic of our esteemed (US) President.

I gotta read TMF's posting guidelines, someday. ~ ~

ROFLMAO

Bob
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I thought a Feste award was for the person who could eat the most? :0Þ

Oh no! Please say that's not true.

Abe



'fraid so, Abe - Here's a pic of last year's winner:

http://www.download2me.com/pictures/fat%20ballet.htm
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I gotta read TMF's posting guidelines, someday. ~ ~

-------------------------------

Just remember that they are JUST guidelines>/i>.


CaveGirl
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Just remember that they are JUST guidelines>/i>.


CaveGirl



Yeah, I know>/i>. Does that mean if I know some body, say Michael R or CaveGirl, for example, or even Twit, for that matter, I can get away with MORE??>/i>.

hmmmm... thinkin' I needda delve into possibilities with more cognizance of potential>/i>.


Bob >/i> wondering what >/i>. means - looks like pretty kewl top secret stuff, to me though ;-)>/i>.
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Hey M.Read, eh!

Have you had/given, anymore interviews lately?

Maybe Paris Hilton, or, Steve Erwin?

I would like to know where Paris purchased her brains, and for how much?

When the opportunity arises (I said: opportunity you naughty boy ;0), can you ask her that question for me?


thanks

KEZ



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Hey M.Read, eh!

Have you had/given, anymore interviews lately?

Maybe Paris Hilton, or, Steve Erwin?

KEZ


I did one once with a snail. Would that substitute for one with Paris since the mental capacity of both is similar? And what would an erudite such as I have in common with someone whose bra size supersedes her IQ? Possibly we could talk about matters that concern us both yet my view is that a conversation on napkin folding wouldn't last that long or be that interesting once the second fold had been made.

The fact that Steve Erwin hasn't been eaten by crocodiles shows, once and for all, the discerning side of amphibious reptiles.

It could be that Paris is, underneath it all, a closet philosopher able to quote Kant and read Greek flawlessly yet I have my doubts about that. I have my doubts about almost all she does yet I hope she can remember to breathe without further, continual, instruction. I have it on authority that the person standing next to her is not her bodyguard but someone saying, “Breathe in, breathe out, breath in, breathe out,” and should that person drop dead so would Paris.

MichaelR


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