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TMF rec's. Hmm, strange little boogers, aren't they? We don't think about them, we don't pay much attention to them except to find out if Moses laid down any new tablets at the Fool today (we don't want to miss out on the good stuff.) And no one would publicly disagree that Foolish "recs" are pretty much useless, worthless, idiotic and a general waste of good mouse clicks, right?

Still .... when we write a silly post and it piles up with 4,327,417 recs by the next day like the average posts of oh, say an averagejoe, hey .... what's not to like, am I right? Oh, yeah! Who loves ya now, baby? And let's be honest here. Those silly recs are badges of honor, proven we were not the last chosen for a game of touch football, eh? (Nice try but don't you even think about lying to us on this one.)

So tonight I was taking my evening stroll through all the discussion boards, trying to answer questions asked of me over the last day or two by people much smarter than I, posting responses to fools who after all these years still thought that I knew anything at all about investing, sub-prime radioactive waste or who's going to win the World Series, taking note of all threats issued and subpoenas directed my way that maybe I should respond to someday and generally trying not to piss anyone off (you know, all the usual discussion board stuff) when I came upon one of my own posts from yesterday, and something looked off, something looked ........ different. Being in a hurry like usual and not wanting to succumb to any silly paranoia and generally being a non-believer in things that go bump in the night I ignore that feeling when the hair stands up on the back of my neck and trudged onward through all the posts I was interested in. But soon .... huh … I had that feeling something was wrong again and lo and behold it was one of my own posts again. So I study the screen a moment or two .... Aha! There was a great big blue crown along the header row of my post! "What the hell," I think, "is THAT?" So my cursor, completely on its own, hovered over this big, glorious blue important-looking crown that rained sunshine and gold ribbons down over the page and then a popup appears reading "Most Recommended Fool" or something similar--it was only an instant and I didn’t even catch the exact wording. But I knew it was an error, I knew it couldn't be right, I knew if I ever wanted "recs" I would have to beg for recs like the corner hooker begs for a wedding ring and yet just for a moment I felt ........ I don't know, maybe dare I say hopeful? Proud? I felt maybe it wasn't absolutely impossible that this was not just another little cyber glitch in the TMF server that keeps popping up lately, like maybe, just maybe, it was something I somehow earned. Hey, it could happen. Then reality set in and I said to myself, "No way, Jose!" (I sometimes call myself Jose and don't know why.) So I shook off all those weird thoughts (difficult because that's the only kind I have) and I moved on to more discussions and posts. But I couldn't quite forget that beautiful, glorious blue crown (how said is that?) so later I just had to know, I had to check this out. Now MrsRaptor is asleep, RaptorJr is watching TV and no one was looking so I called up my profile to click on my recent posts, all the while hoping against hope that somehow no one else got recs this week, that averagejoe was on vacation and my 3 recs earned(???) this week somehow put me over the top of the minimum number of recs required to make me this week's King of Recs. (I know, I know, how sad is that?) I wish it were otherwise but I just had to know if it were true so now I'm holding my breath while realizing that anyone who cares about counting recs on their posts is probably one sick cookie in general and now I'm contemplating my sanity, vanity and general state of mental health, pretending I don't care, that only a true idiot would care about a few silly little cyber recs even if God Himself gave it, let alone a bunch of investors wanting to know if Google was still a good buy and how they could buy ½ of one share. Meanwhile I can't breathe in my darke office as I wait for one of my posts to appear, my router flashing all the colors of a cyber rainbow and my screen flickers to a recent Raptor post, and ........

<<< POOF! >>> “My” crown was gone!

The Fool giveth and the Fool taketh. You know how much I would rather not say this but yeah, I was devastated. Now I ask you my friends, how sad is that? So maybe it was only there for an instant but in that instant I was the undisputed King of Recs. But now if I were ever to be crowned again (theoretically it could happen) how would I know if it was just another TMF prank to quietly but cruelly oust the Raptor once and for all?

Oh how I wish you could have seen that crown. God, it was a glorious thing.

Dan, would be anonymous if he could
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