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Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is The Monkey Man

10. Answers phone, "Monkey Man residence -- I mean, Smith residence"
9. When "Planet of the Apes" is on television, he's cheering at the wrong parts
8. Goes to monkey cage at zoo and says, "Is that you, Stan?"
7. Lists his likes as sunsets, long walks on the beach, terrorizing residents of New Delhi
6. He refers to Jane Goodall as "that nosy bitch"
5. At his family reunion, half the attendees are human and half are monkeys
4. Monkey Man or not, he's your neighbor and you should love him (#4 has been brought to you by the Church of Latter Day Saints)
3. For a snack, picks ticks off your dog
2. Those sounds coming from his bedroom could mean only one thing: wild monkey sex
1. He lost to George W. Bush in Trivial Pursuit
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