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...upon further review.

Too many adverbs. Stephen King rants a lot bout adverbs, in fact that's one of his major beefs. When editing your text I used "said numbly" and "said listlessly" when I know I shouldn't have -- bad habits die hard.

They're okay in moderation, but they often become a crutch for description.

For many readers, it's a subconscious effect, but noticeable, when there is a lot of "answered breathlessly", "sighed listlessly", "looked angrily", "scowled fiercely", "breathed quietly", etc.

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