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So. I still haven't told DN I am marrying T.

I haven't told him because, up until now (and even though it's been in the works since January) I was afraid he would figure out a way to ruin it. Either fake an emergency so I couldn't get on the plane, or offer to take the kids and then back out at the last minute, that sort of thing. There is a precedence for me thinking he would do this (Labor Day weekends 2008 and 2007, anyone?).

I had made childcare arrangements already, in case DN wasn't available for the kids. It turns out he is NOT available, in a way that makes it hard (but not impossible, I cannot underestimate the man I have learned) for him to ruin the plans. He will be out of town a full week before AND a full week after the nuptials.

When should I apprise him of the fact I am 1) going out of town for 4 days (and where his children can be reached during that time) and 2) I am getting married?

A part of me wants to tell him #1 the day before I am leaving and #2 when I get back, but I'm not sure that's really the nice thing to do.

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