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Well i thought this thread was well and done but guess not.

Dad is "most likely" in the beginning stages of Alzhiemers. (sp?) He does not remember things 5 minutes after you tell him. He set this card up with my brother's name on it 5 yrs ago? This was approximately the same time he was loaning my IB 2k a month and not remembering that he did it.

My IB is well aware of the situation. I've had several conversations with him regarding paying off the debt. He has recently told me that he is making multiple loans and paying them off to improve his credit score. Unfortunately, while he is paying on the card, he has no intention of paying it off to get his own card. We do not get any statements on the card, nor do I have online access to it. We do not even have a physical card in Dad's name. (I'm guessing because my brother absconded with it.)

I do know that my brother has been allowing his GF to use the account since it was opened. She is completely clueless when it comes to finances. AS long as she has a credit card she will use it, regardless of the consequences. IB is stupid enough to allow her to do so and pay the bills for her. (would that I could find a man so dumb!)

I am going to my parents this weekend. I will try and get Dad on the phone with Citi and see if we can at least get copies of the statements. (Difficult at best; worse when dad can't hear and can't remember anything 2 min later.)

As for assisted living and mom and dad. Dad will most likely go into assisted living. Mom doesn't like dad, and despite them still being married, will never move to the same place he is. (Very long complicated story.) She is currently living in the same house with him but refuses to be in anyway responsible for him or to take care of him in anyway.

I was originally living with my Dad ..then mom moved back in...then Dad opened credit card with IB..and I moved out. My Siblings are supposed to be taking care of mom and dad as I'd done it for 20+ years, and felt it was time for them to do their part. (i'm the youngest) My eldest brother died suddenly in a skiing accident, and was helping out, but other siblings are worse than useless.

So here I am in PA and they are in central NY state, and I'm trying to get them moved closer to me.
IB technically lives in SC. (has a rent to own property there) Also has a house he owns in CNY that he rents out.(this property has my mother's name on it and also has the 10k lien in my dad's name.My mother also has an equity loan on this house that she is paying on.)
Got another brother in CO that we never see. Sister in CNY who spends more of her time and money giving to her church, than her own family.

Hope that answers some of the questions y'all had. There is a _LOT_ more plot twists in all of this, but I'm sure that posts the length of "War and Peace" would be most tedious.

and please don't remind me that hind site is 20/20 because I already know that. I need to focus on moving forward.

Lady I.
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