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Where those tears of joy or sadness ? MBY


sorry if I wasn't clear ... they were tears of sadness, of course.

but, 23 years have passed since my brother came out to them ...

my father and mother have 3 sons and a daughter, and 8 grandchildren. they are in their 80's and have their health, more or less.

they grew up and lived through the bad years, the Depression and the Nazi years. My father lost childhood friends in the war, and our family, like so many Jewish families, lost dozens and hundreds of cousins in the Shoah.

My father supported various members of our extended family from Ukraine, Poland and Russia who were scattered to the winds by Shoah, war, and turmoil, and who fled to Siberia, China, etc. He was instrumental in getting them food, medicines and money, for decades, until most of them either made Aliyah, or came out of Ukraine in western Europe. On our recent trip to Israel, I had the pleasure of seeing him greeted as a hero by 4 generations of various new reconstituted families.

and as I have mentioned in earlier posts, he was one of those who helped get American guns for Israeli fighters in 46-47.

so, in the face of those monumental things, I think his attitude is 'whats the big deal if one of my 3 sons is a feigele, really?. Our lives on balance have had more joy than tears, and God has been good to us. my family hasnt had the suffering that my extended family has had, and we have been blessed to live in America, where even my gay son can become anything'. something like that is probably how he feels.

plus, my brother has a good life, successful in business, charitable, friendly, lots of good qualities, and as I have mentioned before, a committed zionist. a mensch.

as for your other comments, I have mixed feelings about you. at a gut level, I sense compassion and a kind of brotherly love, which appeals to me.

but you make that difficult with your provocative and rude style, and your seeming inability or unwillingness to take the hint from various posters when you make them uncomfortable. when confronted about that, you say that the 'Truth' is uncomfortable, assuming that your truth is an objective truth. While it is often enough true that the Truth can be uncomfortable, it still can be used as a rationalization for bad behavior, and there are other ways to get at the truth without being insensivite, insulting, or hyperbolic, etc. Civility is not a vice.

and of course, the whole Transfer issue and apologiea of Kahane or Goldstein also make it difficult.

It's your right to have your own beliefs, but I think that among SOME orthodox, there is an emotional cancer, forgive me, a mind set that is a weird combination of bullying self-righteousness and a kind of narcicistic hysteria. I believe this problem has its roots in the trauma of the Holocaust, working its way through the generations. I find it difficult to relate to. I hope those who seem so driven find peace some day.

that's my psychobabble for the day ... d v
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