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AKA “No Assets Left To Sell”.

To the tune of “Ghost Riders In The Sky”. Preferably, the Vaughn Monroe version.


When I was first retired, I withdrew 6 percent,
I’ve done the same for two decades, now I can’t pay the rent.
I withdrew way too much cash, it’s very plain to see,
Now I’m in a cardboard box, in total poverty.

Yippee Yi Yo,
And damn it to Hell,
No assets left to sell.

I thought that I was wealthy, I thought I had it made.
I thought I was a genius, and I was not afraid.
But I ran out of money, I have no more to spend,
I’m living underneath a bridge, and freezing my rear end.

Yippee Yi Yo,
And damn it to Hell,
No assets left to sell.

They warned me to be frugal and below my means to live,
And take out only 4 percent or things would have to give.
I didn’t listen to them to my sorrow and regret.
Where my next meal is coming from, I worry and I fret.

Yippee Yi Yo,
And damn it to Hell,
No assets left to sell.

Now listen to my story, ‘cause everything is true,
Fudging your withdrawal rate will cause you endless rue.
You’ll end up in the poorhouse, living in a hobo camp,
Without central heating where it’s cold and damp.

Yippee Yi Yo,
And damn it to Hell,
No assets left to sell

—————

Ghost Riders In The Sky as sung by Vaughn Monroe:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UHo6ug6yAmw

CLF
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You are quite good with this CLF. Do you do these off the cuff or I'm wondering if you have a collection of them?

Lucky Dog
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Do you do these off the cuff....

Thanks for the compliment in your post.

As to the question, pretty much, although sometimes songs have to percolate for a while before things come together. When it started to come together, it was about 45 minutes start to finish. Had to make some minor tweaks to word order, but otherwise it wrote itself pretty quickly.

Quick example to the tune of “That’s Amore”. Damn it, now you’ve got me working on another.


When the bear hits your port, and it’s like a blood sport, that’s a sell-off.
When the Dow starts to swoon like a busted balloon, that’s a sell-off.
Price goes up, price goes up, price goes up
And you’re one happy fella
It goes down, it goes down, it goes down,
And you become a sell-ah.

Yeah, this one could be fun.

CLF
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CLF, you could launch a new career at everyone's dream job: writing for MAD Magazine. :-)
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