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You might want to check with your lawyer to see if you have to tell him that you'll be out of town and someone else will be caring for the children at that time.

Yes, I do. Even if I wasn't legally obligate, I would do so. I would expect the same from him, though I doubt I could ever count on it.

We also have right of first refusal - so if he was available I would have to tell him I was going out of town and give him the opportunity to have the children. As he will be leaving town before me, I no longer am obligated to do that (as he is unavailable), so my "alternate" childcare plans will be in place.

Of course, even if I didn't have to give him the opportunity I would have. I can't seem to get off the high road even when I'm taking fire from the enemy and my supplies are cut off.

If he asks why you didn't tell him, very matter-of-factly tell him the truth that you thought he'd do something to try and screw it up if he knew about it.

Oh! I'm not sure how I would even word that. I see what you are saying, I'm just not sure I have the cajones to admit it to his face.

Something like "I didn't tell you earlier because I believe it is personal information. I don't ask who you are dating or what your plans are with them, because they are none of my business, either. It won't affect the children's daily lives any." is probably about all I can muster, honestly.

whimp, in face-to-face combat

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