Skip to main content
Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
 
No. of Recommendations: 13
Your list is an absurdity.

1. Mock everyone who lives beyond a 2-mile radius of Los Feliz.

I am pretty sure I have heard him mock people who live within a 2-mile radius of Los Feliz, and even comment unfavorably on them. Your allegation of chauvinism is misplaced.

3. Go to Blockbuster video and rent doppelganging classic, "The Seven Faces of Dr. Laop."

This is a bad joke. Best you hie out of town, and let professionals write comedy.

8. Expand list of pat anti-Fool pejoratives beyond "TomDave," "Jardineros," and "twentysomething eastcoast hypsteristas."

Not bad, for a hamster.

11. Create new hotmail address "So's I can buy a bunch of them cool Soapbox reports without killing my rep."

Why buy the goddamn things when one can go to the library for free and read them from the sources from which they were plagiarized?

12. Beg Cheeze not to move.

No one is begging you not to move. In fact, we welcome your move, if only to give us a negotiating point with which to extract a younger, more dynamic and popular TMF, like Lou.

13. Have liver bronzed for display on Engine Co. No. 28's Wall of Distinction.

A liver is required for drinking. Bronzing it would mean no drinking. How likely is Joseph to volunteer for this?

14. Ponder the Imponderables: Olive, or onion? Vodka, or gin? Marcel Proust, or Ian Fleming?

You've learned nothing since you've been here. Vodka or Gin an Imponderable? Only to a soy besotted vegan philistine like yourself. One bottle of noble Sapphire is worth a dozen cases of vodka.


Print the post  

Announcements

What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.